It is as it should be…

The surgery was a success and I am healing beautifully.

I didn’t have an emotional reaction the next day at the post-op appointment as perhaps some may.  I wasn’t sure what my reaction was going to be when I saw myself for the first time in fifty-some odd years.  Yet, when I saw it, I was happy.  My chest - all-be-it swollen and bruised - was how I envisioned it - for years!

The mind is a powerful thing.  It can allow you to envision and see things as you want them to be as well as lie to you.  Only you have that ability to have it be positive or negative.  Motivational speaker, Denis Waitley, stated, “Our limitations and success will be based, most often, on our own expectations for ourselves. What the mind dwells upon, the body acts upon.”

They say to write down goals and you will achieve them.  Who's they?  They are Earl Nightingale, Steve Garvey, Pablo Picasso, Norman Vincent Peale, Zig Ziglar, Michael Phelps, Ted Turner, Andrew Carnegie, Dale Carnegie, Eleanor Roosevelt, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein...and I could go on.  Recognize any of these individuals.

...and so I did.  If you look up any of the individuals I mentioned, or others, you will see that they also state that looking at that goal is powerful.  I can tell you - it is.  I had it written on a white board for about 20 years to get top surgery.  Grant it, I had no idea when or if it would happen, but I had it as a goal in front of me everyday when I studied for my Masters and my PhD.

As a kid, I saw movies about or involving college & university professors and saw myself as the male professors.  I didn't really realize that I really wanted to be a professor until I was about 40 years old.  But then I had to find the right path to get there.  Okay...I'm not yet a professor...but I do have my PhD and I will be a professor.  It's a goal and I will get there.

So what does that have to do with having top surgery?  Everything.  It was a path.  It was a goal.  I had to find my way to it - and I did.  But I didn't find my way there alone.  I had a lot of people that were very supportive - my wife, my friends, my chosen family, my church, and believe this or not, my work.  I would be remiss if I didn't mention my counselor as well.  Thanking them for being there for me seems so little to say - but I mean it with all my heart.

What's really interesting is that those that didn't know I had top surgery didn't notice.  They attributed it to the weight I had lost.  And here I was expecting to have to defend myself; which I'm sure one day I will have to.

But see, I'm not saddened that they didn't notice because they see me as me...as I should be...so far...the journey still continues.

(Adapted from an earlier post on “Final-Lee Me”, posted on 20190608)